Kill her & tell God she accidentally died...& other rules of pregnancy

So the other day my entirely too honest four year old asked me two horrific questions, "Mom, do you have a baby in your tummy?" and "Mom when will your tummy get flatter?"

I thought about killing her and telling God she accidentally died but instead it was used as a learning opportunity. I taught her about questions that are good (Where did you get those lovely shoes? Why are you so brilliant?) to ask ladies and those that are not (Why is your hair so greasy? What happened to your face?)

She is a sensitive soul so I knew to talk to her about it with delicacy. If she ever knew my feelings may have been hurt she would cry for days. Days. And Lord knows there’s more than enough crying going on around here.

This leads us to two topics:

  1. Post pregnancy weight
  2. Kids and honesty

Today I’ll address post pregnancy weight. Stay tuned for kids and honesty.

I am 6 months postpartum with my third kid. I am not even close to where I would like to be with weight loss. I knew this time would be more difficult because I spent 79 days on bed rest in a hospital with a Complete Posterior Placenta Previa.

I was a bowl full of jelly. But you know what, who cares? I have a healthy baby boy to show for it, and that's what really mattered. I'm not saying it's not important to have optimal health during pregnancy, because it is.

What I am saying is to ignore the scale and focus on growing a baby. I know, I know, the OB office makes you waddle onto a scale every time you visit. Avert your eyes. It’s an easy thing to do when pregnant because we have a big belly in our way.

Don’t peek over the belly at the dooms day scale. Stand straight up with your head held high because you are going to follow these rules for confidence during pregnancy.

1) Rest

  • Wear those crazy orange glasses that are all the rage two hours before you go to bed. Click HERE for more details on the orange glasses.
  • Get 6-8 hours of sleep and try to go to bed at the same time every night
  • Take a nap if needed

2) Hydrate

  • Drink lots of WATER. Go pee. Repeat 1000X’s a day.

3) Nourish

  • Eat fat. Don't be afraid of grassfed butter and pastured bacon. Really. Eat some butter and bacon. Other great fat sources are:
    • Avocado
    • Grassfed meats
    • Eggs
    • Olive oil
    • MCT oil
    • Coconut oil
    • FULL fat yogurt and cheese
    • avoid non-human foods

4) Move

  • Keep working out if you already were (don't start some new, crazy workout program).
  • Walk as much as you humanly can...all the time. Walk.
  • Lift very light weights. If you have other kids, picking them up during the day counts here.
  • Please do follow the docs orders here. If they say no lifting or exercise then DON’T DO IT.

(Do those rules sound familiar? Mark Rogers talks about aspects of these rules in his four pillars. Click HERE to see more of his info about Eat, Sleep, Move and Enjoy. You’re welcome, babe, for the plug.)

Post Partum Rules:

1) Rest

  • Wear the orange glasses that are all the rave two hours before you go to bed. Click HERE for more details on the orange glasses. Yeah...babies don't secrete melatonin. They get it from YOU. If you don't wear these after sunset, don't turn on any artificial lights.
  • Take a nap when the baby naps and if needed

2) Hydrate

            Drink lots of water. Go pee. Repeat 1000X’s a day.

3) Nourish

  • Continue eating fat.
  • butter
  • bacon
  • Avocado
  • Grass-fed meats
  • Eggs
  • Olive oil
  • MCT
  • Coconut oil
  • avoid non-human foods

4) Move

  • Allow your body to heal properly and follow docs orders.

I know some of you are going to have to put your eyeballs back in and make sure you read the post partum rules correctly.

You read correctly. It doesn't say work out like a maniac and eat nothing but ice chips and apples to lose the baby weight. You actually need to keep some of that weight on if you are breastfeeding.

It will take anywhere from 12-18 months for your body to be the right kind of different for ideal weight loss. It took a long time for you to grow that baby, and it will take twice as long to trim down and get ready grow another.

Your main goal is to take care of your baby. Your weight-loss for vanity's sake is meaningless. Many women actually lose a substantial amount of weight while breastfeeding. It has been reported that women burn an extra 500 calories per day when you are exclusively breastfeeding. Don’t believe the myth that breastfeeding will take ALL the weight off. It can’t. It won’t. If it does, you need more nourishment.

Your body needs to hold on to some of that fat to continue the process of breastfeeding. If you're not feeding yourself, you won't be giving your baby the best milk you can possibly make.

So, for now, focus on the above rules and just enjoy feeding and rocking your baby. I guess you could try to sneak in a shower here and again, or skip the shower and NAP!!!